I don't know what this is but it came out of me

Life is a gauntlet you're forced to endure from the moment you're pulled, kicking and screaming, from your mother's womb to some arbitrary point in time, which may or may not be the moment you take your final breath. Often you'll long to sprint to the finish line even though it's too far off to see. You can't run of course; it's against a set of rules you had no voice in creating. Instead, you're forced to plod along to the metronome of your own heartbeat, itself a constant reminder that each passing second is slow death.

You will know disappointment and loss early on, damaged goods in the age of innocence. People will hurt and humiliate you constantly. Friends will abandon you or turn on you. You will take a bullet for someone just so they can laugh at you along with the owner of the gun. As you get older you'll lose the ones you love. Hopes, dreams, and relationships will either wither on the vine of be crushed under the jack-boot of reality the moment they hit the ground.

Some of you will dull the pain with alcohol, drugs, and fucking. Others will build walls to hide behind. Some will use religion to impose meaning and purpose on the meaningless and purposeless. You will pray and cry and rage at the heavens but receive no real response and you will credit serendipity and happenstance to the divine.

The rest of you will learn to see the world for what it is: Neither good nor bad but indifferent to your suffering and joy. You will understand that your life is not a book with a beginning, middle, and end but a blank notepad and a pen. You will learn to absorb the blows you take, you will become the boxer who could have stayed down in the fifth round but is still going well into the tenth. You will cut through other people's bullshit and lies. You will realize that the misery inflicted on you by a hundred assholes doesn't come close to equaling the feeling of being with someone you care about and who cares about you. People will hurt you, you will stumble, you will be miserable at times but you'll keep going because you have to. Because you know tomorrow has the potential to be different.

Comments

Rakiesha said…
Hi,
There's an article in the most recent edition of Sojourners on the online segregation of Christians. The author basically calls it the online equivalent of Dr. King's quote, "the most segregated hour of Christian America is eleven o'clock on Sunday morning". I thought you might want add your thoughts by blogging on this issue.
http://www.sojo.net/index.cfm?action=magazine.article&article_mode=edit&issue=soj0901&article=the-new-digital-divide

Rakiesha Chase
Tim Mathis said…
christi-spam! completely related to the post.

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