The most expensive concert I've ever attended.

This past Friday I went to a concert that wound up costing me roughly two hundred dollars. Right about now you're probably asking yourself, "Who the hell did you see? Springsteen? The Rolling Stones?" Nope, I saw Skeletonwitch and The Gates of Slumber. If you're not familiar with these bands (and you're probably not) they are underground metal bands from Ohio and Indiana respectively. Skeletonwitch play blackened thrash metal with some death metal flourishes while Gates of Slumber are good old fashioned American doom metal. If you're interested here's video of what I shelled out $200 clams for:


The Gates of Slumber

At this point I imagine you're questioning my sanity. Well, let me assure you that my faculties are wholly intact. I didn't walk into the bar expecting to pay so much money to see two underground metal bands. And, in fact, the cover charge was only $8. Add to that the $12 I spent on beer and you have a total of $20. That's a reasonable price to pay for an evening of heavy metal debauchery I think. The real financial hit came when I realized my car was getting towed 15 minutes after I walked through the damn door!

It's not like I parked in a handicapped space or anything. I respect wheelchair people and would never deprive them of a spacious and conveniently located parking spot. No, my sin was that I parked in a lot that was apparently owned by a different bar called Sloopy's. You wouldn't know it though since the parking lot is RIGHT FREAKING NEXT TO THE BAR I WAS GOING TO! I guess I shouldn't really be mad at anyone but myself. I mean, the fine staff at Sloopy's DID hang signs from the side of their building saying that it was a private lot. The problem with the situation was that the lot was unlit, I was parked a good 30 or 40 yards from the building and it was nine o'clock at night. Fine, whatever, I'm not going to hold it against the bar staff. They have to make sure their patrons (OSU skanks and white trust-fund gangstas) have plenty of parking.

So there I was, sans car - not 30 minutes after I entered the bar. The worst part was that I actually watched the tow truck drive past the front window with my precious '97 Chevy Lumina - or the "No Pussy Wagon" as I like to call it. I briefly considered contacting the tow company immediately, calling a cab and getting my car back right then and there. Long story short I decided to just stay and watch the show. I don't know if that was the most logical decision but at the time I was pissed beyond the capacity for rational thought. My basic thought process was, "My car is already gone. If I leave now I'm still going to have to pay a fortune to get it back and I'll likely miss the concert." So I stayed for the full show and called a cab to take me home at the end of the night. The cab ride wound up costing me another $20 and the driver was some old fart that insisted on driving 35 MPH the whole way home. At one point I even had to (loudly) advise him that he was driving up the wrong side of the street.

The next day I managed to track down the tow company that had my car and they informed me that it would be $140 dollars to get it back. One hundred and forty dollars!!! To top it off the tow company was all the way on the other side of Columbus. If a 10 mile cab ride cost $20 I was looking at at least $40 for this trip. Luckily I was able to get in touch with a friend who graciously agreed to drive me across town to get my car. I know a grand total of about 3 people in Columbus and she's the only one who's phone number I have. So it's fortuitous that she helped me out. For her time and trouble I gave her $20 - that's the least I could do for helping out my stupid can't-be-bothered-to-read-a-sign ass.

So there it is. That's how a simple, inexpensive evening of heavy metal and cheap beer spiralled into a $200 pain in the ass. In all honesty I'm still pissed at myself for being so oblivious. Usually my stupidity simply results in minor inconveniences but this time I'm out a substantial amount of that I was planning to spend on comic books next weekend. Que sera, se...what- the-hell-ever.

I learned my lesson though. I'm planning to see My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult at the same bar this Friday and at least I'll know where not to park. Although, if you're familiar with the Thrill Kill Kult, you'll recognize that there's a real chance I may be gang raped by a group of coked up Satanic trannies. Okay, maybe not. But a guy can dream right?

Broke and mad,



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