Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Episcopalian jokes are not funny :(

1. When William T. Manning, a former Bishop of New York, was asked whether salvation could be found outside the Episcopal Church, he replied,

"Perhaps so, but no gentleman would care to avail himself of it."

("Profile of Bishop Paul Moore, Jr." in The New Yorker, April 28, 1986, p. 46.)

2. "If Christian males do not man up soon, the Episcopalians may vote a fluffy baby bunny rabbit as their next bishop to lead God's men."

("More Salt in the Episcopalian Wound", Mark Driscoll)

3. "Not jokes per se, but I think the nicknames for Episcopalians are funny:

One of my aunts calls me a "Whiskypalian" (but I'm a gin martini drinker--Ohhhhh.....THE NERVE!). Oh well, you know what they say: "for every four Episcopalians, you find a fifth"

And my all-time favorite:

My grandfather used to call me a "non-union catholic"

-tarantf

4. "How many Episcopalians does it take to change a light bulb?

---Two: one to tell the butler to summon the electrician, another to mix the drinks while they wait."

5. "Top Ten Reasons to be an Episcopalian:

10. No matter what you believe, there is at least one Episcopalian out there who agrees with you.

9. Guitar-toting priests

8. We can believe in dinosaurs.

7. The ability to regurgitate scripture is not a requirement.

6. Prayers for various occasions--see supplementary texts

5. Real wine

4. The only Episcopalians on television are politicians.

3. We have the "Rite" to meet your needs.

2. Cardiovascular fitness*

1. Male and female, God created them; male and female, we ordain them."

-Anonymous, from a t-shirt.

6. "Following the decision by the Episcopal Church USA to ordain a homosexual Bishop, the Anglican Church in England has passed a request to the "colonies," requesting that all members of the Episcopal church refrain from playing chess for the time being.

Seems they have a problem telling the difference between a bishop and a queen."

Kewack.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

This is a good one to use to preface the discussions we're all having about reinventing ourselves:

How many Episcopalians does it take to change a lightbulb? ---Change? Change? My Grandmother donated that lightbulb!